got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
