i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
