Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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