Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
