i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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