If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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