...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
