so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
