I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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