so explain again why im purple
no
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
