I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How external is "for external use only"?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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