Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
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I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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