false alarm. still invincible.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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