Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
