We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
