Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
