Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
