Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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