He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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