Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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