just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize