its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
