i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
