You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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