Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
