Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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