If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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