Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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