Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
