sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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