I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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