I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
