Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
