Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
