The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
