felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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