I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
