my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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