so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
