im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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