They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
