Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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