I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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