Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
