tell your sister to shave her snatch
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
