If that was your dad, he is hot
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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