I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
