She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
