yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
