I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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