I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
