Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
