Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
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Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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