Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
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Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize