i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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