I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
