See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
