Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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