i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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