North Korea, Best Korea!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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