i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
