I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
