If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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