well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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